I think this book should be a must read in school and colleges. This book is written in the first person as a narrative of Eugenia, a white girl who is an aspiring writer, a black maid Abileen, who is particulalrly good with kids and Minny, a black maid who really can cook and a very hot-tempered! The maids tell their stories to Eugenia, and she writes her book.  The story takes place in Jackson, Mississippi.

Kathryn Stockett makes you love the characters and cry and cheer with them. Abileen’s love to kids  is sometimes more than you can take, and Minny is very direct but yet inspirational.

This book is surprisingly written by a white woman in Southern dialect. I think that one does not have to be of colour to tell the story; one does not have to be Jewish to cry with the victims of Holocaust, and one does not have to be an immigrant to feel the struggles. All you need is to have a heart and eyes wide open.

The story made me feel profoundly sad and embarrassed many times while reading it. I didn’t live in Jackson, Mississipi in 60s, but I do know that certain things hurt a lot. The things such as not being invited to certain houses because you are who you are or being treated as a second-class citizen because of somebody’s  sick idea of superiority.

There is more to this story. It is not only a story of racism, but also the story of feminism and hope that things will change. Eventually.

What makes it particulalry compelling is that it has you comparing the situation in the 60s with what we have now. Yes, we now go to the same schools and shop in the same stores, and there are many mixed marriages and beaiutiful kids from these marriages. All true. But deep inside, we all know we still have a lot to work on and a lot to correct.

I also loved wisdom of the maids in the book. Here are some examples:

Constantine: “Every day you’re not dead in the ground, when you wake up in the morning, you’re gonna have to make some decisions. Got to ask yourself this question: “Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?” You hear me today? “Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today? You hear me today?”

Abileen: “God says we need to love our enemies. It hard to do. But it can start by telling the truth. No one had ever asked me what it feel like to be me. Once I told the truth about that, I felt free. And I got to thinking about all the people I know. And the things I seen and done.”

But most importantly, even though for some people this book is not an example of a downright classic, it is a powerful lesson in humanity, equal rights and opportunites and love, because at the end of the days we are all smart, kind and important regardsless of skin colour.

Must-read! U-huh.

This article gives advice and ideas on how women can improve their language to become more effective communicators. The first advice said: Drop the ‘just”.

Mind ya, I am all about equal rights and opportunities. This is STUPID, fumed I. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, we either can or cannot communicate. Then I started to  think and pay attention how many times a day I used the word just in verbal and written communication.

“I was just wondering”.

“I just wanted to ask”.

“It is just that”

“Just a question”

Holy! This Tara Sophia is RIGHT. Using the word just makes your sentences and ultimately you sound like somebody not so important.

Delete just.

This week my challenge at work was to remove just from my setnences.

“I just wanted to ask” = I would like to know

I was just wondering = I was wondering

It is just that. =The thing is

Just a question.= I would like to ask you.

Surprisingly, I was getting replies to my requests faster and communicated my message across more effectively.

My challenge to you is:

if you are a female – do we really abuse the word “just“? Think about it.

If you are a male – do you do it as well? Think about it.

In Toastmaster’s Friendship.

Leah.

http://blogs.forward.com/sisterhood-blog/149516/

As sad as it sounds, it is all true. For some reason, many people instanteneously assume conversion when they see a person of colour in a synagogue. Most congregations in Toronto are predominantly white and Ashkenazi. This leads to many awkward situations and interesting questions. People stare. People make assumptions. Some people are racist. Not only that, some people get disturbed by accents. I was once asked whether there was hydro and water where I am from. I was very amused by this question: you must be joking, right? First of all, I am from here; secondly, I was born in Moscow, not around the North Pole. Of course, there is hydro.

There is no easy solution to this problem. I think the more congregations get to meet people of different colours and traditions, the more accepting they become.

I must admit I am not perfect. I sometimes snap at people. I hate myself after and feel extremely guilty, but sometimes too tempted in the moment to do that anyways.

What has started to help me recently is the idea that our words and acts go very far. Sometimes farther than we expect. I don’t smile at somebody or behave unfriendly and totally forget about it the day after, but somebody might still remember it six months after. It is scary, isn’t it? Sometimes I do feel that the whole act of living is a whole more responsibility than my Mom has ever warned me about. And I should tell you that my Mom has done a real good job in warning me about stuff.

I think now that the attitude carries me throughout a day. I can’t often change my circumstances, but I can change how I look at them, how I approach my life challenges and how I communicate. I used to be more reckless in communication and would adhere to my principles. Now, I try not to hurt. I think about how others would think and what they would feel. Principles are great, but if they hurt others, maybe not so much. I choose role models, and follow their attitude. After all, even if I don’t achieve their perfection but still will brighten somebody’s day on my way – my mission has been achieved.

Happy Sunday night and have a great Monday!

I have energy to go to work and ok there, and deliver myself to the gym but after that I have no energy whatsoever for anything else. Thanks G-d and all engineers fro smart phones, because I answer most of my emails when I am on the way to the gym or home, otherwise my email inbox would be rather full as I am completely uninspired to engage in any activity at home. Except for sleeping. I always sleep very enthusiastically.

So, I APOLOGIZE for not updating. It’s  been a constant struggle all last and this week, got somehow a bit better by the end of this week, so I think there is still a bit of hope.

I wonder what the best way to fight the blahs. If you have any ideas please do share!

http://www.jpost.com/NationalNews/Article.aspx?id=251820

Now, let me get this straight -there is always this discussion in mass media and certain circles; you know what I mean – the discussion of how Jews market Holocaust, and how they should get over it already; enough is enough. The same discussion leads to the point that since Holocaust is generally being marketed a lot; no surprise Haredi decided to abuse it as well.

I agree with Tim Cole’s opinion that he expressed in his book Selling the Holocaust. Holocaust events and memorials are often too mass marketed and geared towards shocking general public. The history of Holocaust is deeper and more complex than what we are shown. Moreover, Jewish culture and history is more than Holocaust. We are often seen as the nation of sufferers, and people forget that there is also a strong state of Israel that appeared after Holocaust and has been going strong since then.

This being said, the idea that Holocaust is being abused by the Jewish community is sickening for me, and as much as I hate saying these words – you sometimes have to be Jewish to feel it (the same as you have to be a Roma to feel the genocide of Romas).

The problem with the Haredi community and its protests however is not the use of yellow stars at all. It is surprising that they used them, because Haredi community does not teach Holocaust in their schools. The problem with all this turmoil in Israel is that it separates us even further. There have been a way too many Jewish educators and community leaders who condemned Haredi and called them our enemies. This is right in a way. We do have enemies. Our enemies are us. I would really like to see the focus being shifted from how horrible Haredi are to what we can do to make this work.

Make love not war. Oops, sorry. I meant to say make friends not war.

The sky yesterday was just awww:

Sky in January

January 1, 2012 Cheesecake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally yesterday I implemented one idea that will help me to make my mornings even better. I take vitamins, and feel that I spend a way too much time looking for the right one every morning. I bought a puill organiser, and now I can organise all my vitamins for the week ahead. Voila:

 

Vitamins Organiser

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you all had a great weekend! Happy Monday!

- what are my obstacles towards being more interested in spirituality and religion?

- what would I like to do more?

- what would I like to do less?

It looks my major issue is that before I used to live in between two worlds – switching between a religious me, and a secular me, and I seem not to be able to do this anymore. I mean I am able to but I don’t want to. It is as though I am telling lies to both worlds. I am sure there is a place for people like me, where I can find people with the same problem and find peace, but I think I need to stop to find it. Being in a whirlpool of emotions does not help it.

I know quite a number of people who live in between worlds, and they are happy – being religious  themselves and then having opinions that don’t match with the mainstream or practicing things that are not really encouraged. And that is fine if it works for them, but me – I just can’t.

Besides, spirituality is such a vast concept. So I hope that I will be able to find more than just my place in the organized religion.

By the way, don’t get me wrong here: I have no problems in communicating with and finding G-d, it is the organized religion I have problems with.

It looks like this month’s project is likely to extend into next months as I sure have a long way to go.

I have not updated this week much, but I will aim to do better! Of course.

My main fitness achievement this week has been that I have started going to a pool again. My main challenge with swimming is that I tend to freeze on my way to a pool and back. Now, I think I have solved this problem by buying a long-sleeved top and wearing it on top of my swim suit. It really makes a BIG difference.

Next week, I will be trying to switch some of my workouts to the morning, but we will see how THAT goes. I am not much of a morning person.

Hope you all had a great week. My happiness update is follow later today.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/story/2012/01/02/pol-baird-religious-freedom.html

This has me a little bit confused: if freedom of religion is a human right, which is observed in Canada, why on earth would be need this office here? If this office is planning to intervene and promote Canadian values abroad, don’t we have a plenty of problems in the country including women’s rights, new immigrants issues and healthcare?

I would rather see freedom from religion office, because when religion and politics meet, nothing good happens.  They should be kept well apart. Maybe I should pray for a wise use of budget and taxpayers’ money.

Happy Tuesday ; hope you are as excited about going back to work as I am

Here is the link to this article:

http://www.uscj.org/Aboutus/Publications/CJ_VoicesofConservative_MasortiJudaism/TheCurrentIssue/Winter20112012/TheBestofTimes.aspx

I think  the problem with female rabbis is that they often take a role of a MOTHER of a congregation, and I don’t feel I need to be parented. Alternatively, they act as a therapist – and again this is great, and works for many people, but just not for me. Women struggle to establish themselves as Halacha experts, community confidants, a friendly face, a lawyer for Jews, and offciant at ceremonies and just somebody who is expected to be always ready to listen or visit. The part of the challenge is that in the event of a male Rabbi, his wife is often a part of the team – helping him to do his work, working with the community or making sure their households runs. In the event of female Rabbis, their husnbands are often not as supportive.

I believe that issues that female Rabbis have working in their jobs are not often not that job specific. Yes, there are congregations that are not ready for women rabbis, but often younger female rabbis are not hired because they will at some point of time have children, and this will interfere with their work. Mind you, nobody questions younger male rabbis in the same situation – the expectation is that wives will take care of it. This is applicable to all kinds of professions including public law practices (women partners – well still not so many), accounting practices, the army.

The glass ceiling described in this article is not only because of the society attitudes, but because often we, women, encourage it by bending the rules, not pursuing our dreams, not being firm enough to insist on something important to us and plainly spoilng our kids rotten, so they carry the same ideas into their lives: moms sacrifice. Well, women do! But men do as well.

As much as I would like to blame it all on guys, I honestly can’t; I think we are also responsible for a part of our problems at least in the developed world. If we stick to our goals and dreams, all kinds of female professionals, including rabbis will have it eventually easier.

I first heard this song at my Bodyflow class, and I fell in love immediately. It is so wonderful and perfect, so this is my New Year’s gift to you. Please enjoy and share generously.

Oh, so in love Leah.

The plot of the book is extremely predictable. I could see right at the beginning where the author was going with this plot. However, the plot is not the main thing here. Yep, you heard that right. The main character, Jonathan learns important lessons while travelling, and though they are nothing new, it is very good to be reminded that:

1. You should live your authentic life. The life that is good for you, and make decisions trying to avoid pressures of the society.

2. You should not be afraid of your fears. Do what you are afraid of and overcome them. Living in your comfort zone is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

3. You should practice kindness. Be kind to people around you, to yourself, live with dignity and practice being humane every second of your life.

4. You should make daily progress. Action is always better that intention. Take one day at a time, but do something! Don’t just dream.

5. You should do your best work. Be proud of what you do and do you best there.

6. You should choose your friends well. Stick with people who uplift you and make you better.

7.  You should embrace simple pleasures. Money is not everything. Being poor prevents you from enjoying life, but as you get more money, life does not get better because of the amount of $$$$. Small things such as cherished time with family, friends, doing activities you love are very important.

8.  All you need is LOVE. The meaning of life is to LOVE. Love is an action, not a concept.

9. You should make your life matter and think of something bigger, serve people around you.

Very simple, eh? But when you see all these ideas together, they start making sense; they bring more light and colour into your life, and you think about making positive changes to your life. Overall, a great book. Solid four stars out of five.

I have implemented though small changes that I think made me more balanced and positive:

1. I changed my workout schedule and do now three weeks six days a week and one week four days a week.

2. I changed my days so that I have less to do in the morning and I am less stressed this way.

3. I try to finish things as they come and procrastinate less.

4. I continued to declutter.

I have also appreciated the last week of December, when I was off work and had time to meet with my favourite people, connect and recharge.

My next month, January will be about Spirituality. It was once very strong in my life, but recently I have realized that my focus has switched. I will try to bring more meaning into my life my reading books, searching for meaningful quotes and inspirational people and moments. Stay tuned.

I also would like to wish you happy 2012 secular year! Be kind to yourself, to your body, mind and soul. Don’t settle, ask questions and look for answers, be relentless in the search of better you, and remember that the process is as important as results.

B’shalom and lots of love.

Escaping and changing the environment is extremely effective, but often not possible. Besides, the message in these books is – either you change your life completely and become a Buddhist Monk or you die of a heart attack at the age of 40. I don’t like this. There are a lot of things in between. How about people who like what they do, for example? How about people who have to do what they do? Besides, you don’t have to move to India to find yourself.

However, I read a very good idea in this book yesterday. The author talks how often when meeting somebody new we introduce ourselves and give them information that says nothing about us. For example, if I say I am an accountant and have a cat, what is it going to tell you about me? That I love numbers and cats? Not necessarily. But if I tell you that I am really passionate about dancing, and music moves me, that I love scents and spices and the warmth of Indian food, that I am really interested in public speaking and think that it can change lives, then we are onto something.

It is very interesting to discover something unique instead of following stereotypes of making assumptions and being afraid to ask more questions.

Happy Friday, Shabbat Shalom and Happy December 30th – almost resolutions time!

Recently I have started one good thing though that I want to share with you: I make a point to plan my snacks. I realized that I tend to overeat a lot (chocolates and chips) when I don’t have my snacks planned. I make a point now to plan snacks that have a lot of protein – for example edamame or peanut butter with crackers and a couple of strawberries, or even musli bars. Musli bars are very tricky though. If you read nutrition they are not much better than a cookie nutritionwise. I try to choose the ones that have more protein in them, for example almond or peanut butter coated.

I find that if I have solid snacks throughout a day I am less likely to go and buy some extra chocolates. I also find that I definitely need to eat about 1.5 hours before my workout, especially if I do weights, something light – like a fruit works just great. If I don’t I am not as energetic and don’t accomplish that much.

Hope you all had a great Thursday and look forward to even better Friday ahead!

I stepped outside today and said to myself: ouch! This windchill, and icy roads are definitely not going to make my day. So I spent a good part of my day hating the weather, snow, ice and humanity, in particular those who have houses and don’t salt their sidewalks. There I said it. You don’t have to volunteer or save penguins, but please make a point of shoveling, salting or whatever you have to do with your sidewalks, just do it.

There is no happy end. I did not meet a nice stranger who made my day. I did though spend some quality time with my toastmasters friends, which improved things. I think though that if you repeteadly look for good and happy things, they will start finding you. I will keep trying.

On this note, I realized I find blogging extremely rewarding and mood boosting. I often find that if I procrastinate and leave it all for the weekend, then I end up posting two or three posts a day, which is not great. So, there I go. I resolve to blog daily, and I will do themes depending on what day of the week it is.

I will have:

Israel or Jewish Mondays

Current events Tuesdays

Fitness Wednesdays

Recipe Thursdays

Free Fridays (anything goes!!!)

Happiness Saturdays

Bright Sundays

Of course, there will be days I will do something else, but I think giving it a bit of structure won’t hurt!

Happy end of Decemner to you all and Hanukkah is over.

It does not mean though, that we will have less light in our lives. It just means we will have to wait for the whle year to get a good excuse to eat fried foods

However, I came across a cookbook titled The Skinny Bitch Ultimate Cookbook. And I thought to myself – really? I know there is a book called The Skinny Bitch Diet. I have always been perplexed by the title choice. I would not want anything titled like that on my bookshelf.

When I was growing up, being a bitch was so cool and sexy, but now I think that being a bitch is so easy, you don’t even have to do anything to be a bitch. Being a responsible and caring human is a new sexy. That is why I am not going for The Skinny Bitch Cookbook. Thank you, but no, thank you.

It looks like we are doing great: no segregation on buses, no guys spitting on you but in reality – do women have any power in North American synagogues?

You are going to tell me – come on now, Leah, of course! Women can read the Torah!!! Women can lead the prayer! Women can be rabbis! (in certain denominations of course) Women can be synagogue presidents!

All true. I think things are even better in Reform congregations, but Masorti – not so much. Yes, women can participate in the ritual life, but in most cases women are not decision makers. More to that, I see over and over again ladies getting married, wearing a hat and something black and moving to sit at the back, then they get pregnant and have no time for anything at all – you get the pattern, right? When kids are at school, they join sisterhood and attend craft nights, girls night out (for some reason in shul – this is not out! this is in!), and bakeathons. All very solid activities. I am not feeling girl power though.

I think Masorti North America also has a long way to go to embrace women’s participation in synagogues. Yes, we don’t have horrific cases of abuse and segregation, but we are not strong either.

Ladies, we can do it