Posted by: Leah | August 11, 2011

Give It to me Right Or Don’t Give It to me at All

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No, the post is not going to be about sex. 🙂 Give it to me right or don’t give it to me at all is my motto. One of.

When I was younger, not that I am now terribly old but still, so when I was younger, I was much much nicer. I felt uncomfortable  saying no to people, which means I often ended up hanging up with wrong people, who made me feel guilty about not spending time with them, who I was not interested in, who I was a bad match with. . I understand, sometimes you have to spend time with somebody who you don’t like much. This is life, really – we do meet and communicate with people we don’t always adore. Sometimes we have to help people, and in that we can’t pick and choose.

The catch here is that if you spend all the time with people you don’t like or you think you have to be friends with, because they are so nice and friendly with you, or who don’t appreciate you, you won’t have any time for people you like and who like you, and who ARE like you and you can grown and learn together. I think you can’t compromise here – you have one life and in many cases freedom to choose who you are friends with – people who genuinely care about you, or people who just hang out.

How will you find out? Easy! Well, at least it was easy for me – when I found myself in Women’s College Hospital almost four years ago; there were some people who did not care. so I eliminated the from the friends’ list (real life friends’ list), and now when in doubt I always ask myself – would this person help if…?

Friendship and relationships are different for different people. But I think we have to have them right. Right for us, and if they are not right, a big question is whether we need them at all.

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Responses

  1. a big question is whether we need them at all.

    I think we do need friends, but certainly not the kind that don’t care about you. A true friend is a “kindred spirit” who shares your sensitivities and sense of humour. Good luck in finding true friends.

    • thanks for your comment. Oh, I do have true friends, but mostly thanks to stopping hanging out with all wrong people. This post is just a mental reminder to keep doing what I have been doing, and perhaps it can help somebody else 🙂

  2. A very important post, thank you for writing this. I think, Leah, that I may be that younger version of you! I’m also too nice and spend way too much time with people who drain me. I’m working on it, though. Another post that I found very helpful is called “Are Your Friends An Elevator or a Cage?” http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/12/are-your-friends-an-elevator-or-a-cage/

    • Thank you for your comment, my friend! I think not so long time ago I realized it is ok not to be nice in certain situations and kind’a do what I would like to. After all, I am not a $100 dollar bill so everyone likes me 🙂 haaaa


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