Posted by: Leah | October 10, 2011

Clearing Out Dirty Thoughts

It constantly amazes me how much garbage sometimes we have in our minds. No, I mean really. I also used to be like that and sometimes fall into this trap.

Have you ever noticed – we tend to imagine the worst possible scenario in our minds – somebody is late – they actually are not late, they were in a horrible car crash and died; a married guy walking with a lady who is not his wife in the park – of course, they are lovers; a teen refuses to have dinner = on drugs!

It looks as though we are programming ourselves for something horrible to happen, as though we expect nothing good out of life and people.

A couple of year ago I decided though that I was not going to expect to be stabbed in my back every step of my way. So now, when I see an unhappy or annoyed person, I don’t assume this person is like that ALL the time, I just think it’s been a bad day; if I see my married friend with an unknown lady having a coffee, you know what – they are friends (and in 98% cases they really are!), I don’t eliminate female friends out of my life just because they potentially can take my boyfriend and go running, I help my coworkers and don’t think they are abusing my skills and expertise. Since I have started doing that, I have really been stabbed in the back fewer times, and I have been generally happier about my life.

It does not mean I am naively stupid though. If somebody shows they can’t be trusted, I cover my bases and take measures, but only after something tells me about it and not BEFORE.

Trusting people and assuming they are good is a great exercise. Moreover, it releases so much time I would be spending fretting over small stuff or gossipping about how inappropriate somebody is. So I would like to suggest that we all try doing that – and sure we will become a warmer and more productive society. Dirty ideas and bad thoughts clutter our minds, overtake our behaviours and don’t allow us to become better people.

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