Posted by: Leah | April 1, 2012

Why Arranged Marriages Aren’t Meant to Work in the 21st Century

Over these three years I have been seen a sudden increase of divorces, separations, cheating (yes, yes, and that too) among people in their late 40-s-early 50s with grownup kids and established lives. I even know people in their 70s going through separations.

What the hell I sometimes ask myself. At the same time, I see people in their 20s and early 30s going through matchmaking and arranged marriages, and I tend to ask myself the same question.

Yes, it is true that we tend to like somebody who is similar to us – sharing the same values, language and religion is very important. Yet, ask yourself how many times did you become friends or fall in love with somebody who was born thousands of miles away with a different background, different skin colour and first language? How many times did you think I had never thought this would happen.

Parents trying to limit their kid’s choices, bringing in suitors would all say – we know what is good for our kids, and besides we did the same and it worked for us. Not good enough for me. What they are trying to say – we don’t care what you want in life. This is what we want, so we can sleep well at night and have a good status in our communities saying that their kids married Jews, Muslims or Christians. Well, how about their kids making their own, and even wrong choices and deciding for themselves. Times have changed – women’s rights have women earning and being able to be independent. Having a good suitor with a handsome paycheque does not sound that exciting anymore. Well, I can earn the same – so what is the point of marrying somebody you don’t really know and pretending it is so good for you and your family. U-huh. Yeah.

We all hear that there are certain communities where people don’t get divorced. This means only one thing, and this thing is not good ol’ family values. People there are forced to stay married because the community will make them outcasts.

The sudden increase in divorces among much much older people means only one thing – times have changed, and arranged marriages are not meant to work anymore. It is extremely refreshing and liberating to decide for yourself.

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Responses

  1. […] 21st century.  I don’t want to regurgitate her points here, so if you’re interested, here is her […]

  2. […] Why Arranged Marriages Aren’t Meant to Work in the 21st Century (letikvah.wordpress.com) […]


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