Posted by: Leah | September 8, 2012

Floss! You’ve Got to Use It

Today I have found floss in a pocket of my jacket. Four years ago, my dentist looked at me and said: you know why they sell floss in stores, sweetheart? that you buy and USE it. I did fire that dentist, but he was right. You’ve got to use that damn floss, or the life will floss things for ya.

These have been quite a couple of weeks. Some people resurfaced in my life, and that had me gasp looking at caller ID on my phone or email subject lines. Some disappeared, and some were not particularly nice. I was also often in pain because of my injuries and muscle pain.

I always find the beginning of September particularly challenging, as though the life is trying to dust, sweep and organize things before my birthday and before Jewish New Year: a double Elul for ya – as one of my friends wisely noticed: one year I was carried to hospital by almost a complete stranger, who after drank a whole bottle vodka in my apartment while cleaning it, but did not touch any other thing there; another year I had massive food poisoning. I normally lose jobs, friends, boyfriends and hope at the beginning of September, and interestingly regain everything in the middle of it.

As I gave into turmoil of emotions of this September, I felt angry, frustrated and lost. At the same time, I felt so much loved. There were random but ohso meaningful conversations, and laughter, and oh are you being so dramatic again, Leah. I came for simple appointments, but left with more than a prescription or a toothbrush. I often went home, reassured – there is still hope. Lotsa it. There was also a  letter in the mail coming in – that blah-blah, my sponsorship had been processed, and I was matched with a sister from Rwanda, whose transformation I would be sponsoring for a year. I got to tell ya: it felt damn good and appropriate, and even comforting that that much across the ocean, I can still be making a difference in the life of somebody through Women for Women International.

Today I woke up early in the morning to go to my class only to find out it had been cancelled, because few people signed up for it. As I was standing in the bus shelter in the pouring rain, reading Kelle Hampton’s book Bloom, and with my tears overflowing my eyes, I touched my pocket and found that floss. How very appropriate, I thought and felt amazingly in peace, the first time these weeks. Too bad I found that floss too late; it looks like the worst particles had been already flossed out of my system.

Then everything felt just right: the bus came, I kept reading and wiping my tears. I travelled back to my area, dropped by

Loblaws and discovered the fall is in a full swing there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then of course I did comfort shopping, and if you ask me – nothing is more comforting than having a breakfast pita, coated tiny cheese cakes and rose wine that speaks to me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything fell into places today. Just the way things should be. Of course, I will still be cleaning the things that fell apart, and finding replacements and striving to keep polite and civilized at times, or not to weep because I feel so sorry for somebody, but this will be later.

For now, I just feel so blessed and grateful that my life did not wait for me, but took the floss and did an awesome job at it.

 

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